Of orchids and dreams

Disoriented, groggy, and completely unaware of her whereabouts, she found herself standing at the edge of a road in the dark of the night. While the cars zoomed through, she saw a strange figure standing on the opposite end of the road.

It was a familiar-looking silhouette; she squinted her eyes, hoping to get a better look. Peering at this strange figure, alarm bells started ringing in her head as if she was staring at the face of death. She darted in the opposite direction, running aimless through a field of freshly cut grass, into a dim lit alleyway.

Her heart was threatening to give out, but she was too afraid to stop. Running along a road that was starting to seem familiar now, she could feel the dark figure catching up to her. She tried picking up the pace, but the gravel road under her feet was fast disappearing and was transformed into a peach-coloured, shiny floor of a strange apartment. It felt eerily familiar, yet somehow completely new. She looked around the room for clues to ascertain where she was and spotted a serene looking Buddha vase — it drew her in as if trying to tell her something. As she crouched closer, Buddha’s serene face started contorting and the orchid in it, wilting at a blistering pace.

“Helllllpppppp.” A loud scream coming from another room grabbed her attention. She swirled around, making a motion towards the room but found her legs had lost all function. The floor below was slowly swallowing her whole, rendering her unable to help. The cries did not stop, neither did her struggle to free herself from the floor’s stranglehold. Before she could tell what was happening, she found herself falling into a dark abyss, plummeting to the deepest depths of earth into a large pool of blood. Without any struggle, she submitted herself to her fate, drowning eventually into the scarlet pool.

With a start, Ruana awoke in a bed of sweat, scared, and breathing rapidly. She held onto her bed, in an attempt to verify that it was just a graphically vivid dream and not real. She looked at the clock on her bedside table; it was screaming 3:53 a.m. in neon yellow light. Weary and exhausted from the lack of sleep, she dragged herself out of the bed knowing full well she will not be falling asleep again tonight.

A love story

“Hey good morning, how was your weekend? Do anything fun?,” Arjun greeted Ruana as he picked her up for work in the morning.

“Good morning. Yea, I cleaned my book cabinet. There was a visible layer of dirt that had accumulated over it and it was driving me crazy. I had been itching to clean it forever,” she replied, landing a peck on his cheek.

He looked at her uncertainly, wondering out loud, “I said ‘for fun’. How are we still together?”

“Because you loveeee me,” she said teasingly, offering him a sip from her tea-filled thermos.

Arjun and Ruana’s romance was quite new, but they seemed like an old couple. They were nauseatingly cute, and inseparable. They had a movie-like meet cute at a local book store. They were perhaps among the few people remaining, who preferred buying books from a store, reading hard copies and despised Kindles. They had bumped into each other the first time, while going for the same book and ended up exchanging favourite book titles. It started with a ‘Hi’ and had soon graduated into a 2-person book club.

After a couple of months, Arjun had finally worked up the nerve to ask Ruana on an official date and they had been together since. For Ruana, this was the most adventurous thing she had ever done.

She was a quiet person who didn’t speak unless absolutely required. Her idea of a vacation was staying at home, in her bed and watching movies all day long, ordering in food and sleeping for long hours. Arjun, however, resided on the opposite spectrum of that same world. He lived and breathed adventure. Since the early age of 16 years, he had gotten into the habit of saving up his pocket money to go on adventures. Be it several meters above or below the sea, he was up for all escapades.

“Guess what? I am finally going to Andaman. I cannot wait to go deep sea diving. I have already read so much, I could write a book about it,” Arjun said excitedly.

Ruana felt the heat rising in her face, as Arjun spoke in the background. This was the first time he had ever brought up his Andaman trip. She had bashfully assumed that Arjun would refrain from taking such adventurous trips now that they were together.

‘How does he plan on spending the rest of his life together with me if he is dead?’ she thought to herself.

She took two deep breaths to calm down, muttering to herself, ‘Don’t lose your calm. Don’t get angry! You can handle this. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.’

Giving him the most convincing smile, she said, “That’s terrific!” Little did he know. that was only a prelude to their most bitter fight.

Of Islands & Jetties

Breathing the salty air of Port Blair, Ruana fished out her luggage from the trunk of the cab. Grinning eye to eye, she looked at the rustic-looking building covered in beautiful green vines. A huge crowd was assembled in front of the building, wearing giant hats, sunglasses, and florals, ready to start their vacation. Admiring their child-like enthusiasm, and excited murmurs, she walked into the hotel. A large reception decorated with a several dozen fish tanks welcomed her.

“How can I help you, ma’am?” the old receptionist asked her in a matter of fact manner.

“I have a reservation here. I am staying with someone. He should have already arrived. But, I had called ahead and requested that my arrival be kept a complete secret,” she said with an unfaltering grin, handing over her stay confirmation.

Inspecting the papers, he looked at her, glad to finally put a face to the annoying woman who had been calling incessantly ‘to include them in her plan for a romantic surprise’.

“Well, Mr. Arjun hasn’t checked in yet, ma’am. So we couldn’t tell him even if we wanted to,” he replied, with a stiff smile and false humour.

Taking in the serenity of the view from her hotel room, she took a long breath, preparing herself for what promised to be her greatest romantic gesture. After Arjun’s proclamation over his solo Andaman trip, Ruana had gotten into a loud argument with him, the details of which were foggy in her head. But, whatever she had said, had upset Arjun enough to stop all communication with her. She was hoping this surprise would convince him into forgiving her.

Overlooking the majestic display of water, she sat in her tiny terrace reading a book, awaiting his impending arrival. Long time had passed before she realized Arjun was scheduled to reach Andaman before her.

‘That’s odd!’ she thought to herself, wondering why Arjun hadn’t reached yet.

It had been nearly an hour since she had arrived, yet Arjun wasn’t there yet. Lying back on the bed, she pulled out her phone, to check her messages. Nothing. She dialed his number, ready to pretend she was just checking in with him. ‘The number you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try again later.’

After making several calls — his travel planner hadn’t spoken to him in days, the flight he was booked on reached in time to Port Blair, and the reception had still not checked him in — she was starting to silently panic. She walked out of the hotel with purpose, and started pacing in the garden area to figure out her next step. She kept staring at her phone, hoping that she was just being paranoid and Arjun will be calling her any second now.

Arjun’s itinerary showed him leaving for Havelock island at 11 am to make arrangements for his scuba diving lessons. Glancing at her watch, she was gripped by a dangerous courageousness. I am going to go to Havelock Island.

‘Excitement got the best of him, and if I know him well enough he has simply decided on heading there directly…with his extremely heavy luggage,’ she bargained with her doubting self.

The 3-hour long jetty ride helped her anxiety. The cool breeze in her hair and the excitable chatter of tourists calmed her down. Around her, pelicans lunged into the sky over a giant mass of water, who, unbeknownest to them, were being photographed by at least 10 people.

As the jetty pulled into the docks of Havelock island, her eyes pooled up with tears; it had just dawned on her that she had traveled alone to a remote island with only the phone, some money and no concrete plan for finding Arjun.

It was a small beachfront, populated by a several dozen tourists who were loudly gasping at the crystal clear water. She went around looking for Arjun’s familiar face but came up empty. She checked nearly every shack offering sea diving lessons, but to no avail. She was wondering if it was wise to go around showing his photo to people there, but, decided against it.

‘Maybe Arjun is waiting at the hotel, and I have completely ruined this surprise by overreacting. Maybe, he missed his flight, then his phone was stolen or damaged, and he had to scramble to re-book everything. That is completely plausible. Sometimes bad days can get really bad.’ she continued her silent conversation with her doubting self.

By the time she had reached her hotel, it was already dark outside. Walking into an empty hotel room, she burst into tears, inconsolable and utterly lonely.

Locked down

Arjun had disappeared. There was no bargaining, anymore. Only acceptance.

After 54 days of radio silence, either Arjun was missing or had the most terrible etiquette of breaking up relationships.

Nobody knew where he was. She had called his friends, and family — who did not seem far too concerned. ‘Oh! he does that sometimes. This won’t be the first sabbatical he has taken to ‘find himself!’ his best friend burst into laughter, explaining his disappearance was a regular phenomena.

She found this revelation difficult to digest. Who was this man who just disappeared for weeks on end to ‘find himself’? The Arjun she had come to know wasn’t this person at all. After a lengthy discussion with her own self, she was convinced, he was most certainly missing. She had become consumed with the mystery of his disappearance and was dangerously close to getting fired from work. The lockdown, however, was a god sent, whether she appreciated it or not.

She was getting increasingly erratic and would travel to strange places at strange times at the drop of a hat over the flimsiest of ‘leads’ or ‘evidences’. After getting into a heated argument with the police officers patrolling the streets, she had come woefully close to getting beaten up or thrown in jail for causing a ruckus. With great difficulty, she had accepted her fate — she was going to have to stay home for some days.

A fight and a bookshelf

Waking up at 4 am had become a regular occurrence. The same strange dream played like a tape every single night and shocked her awake before the daybreak. The lack of adequate sleep and the continuous quest to find Arjun had left her in a state of hysteria. She was starting to believe even her dreams had clues to find Arjun.

‘’The screaming man and the orchid and the scarlet pool are all connected. I can feel it. I am closer than ever to finding Arjun,’ she would tell herself every morning. But, by the end of the day, she would be nowhere close to figuring out where he was.

As she stepped out of her sweat-soaked mattress, she looked at the setting moon peaking at her from the half-open window. A sad, fatigued and weary-looking figure stared back her in the mirror by the window. For the first time in the last several weeks, she noticed how tired she looked.

“Today is going to be different! It will do me good to take a break today and look at the facts with a clear mind tomorrow,” she told herself.

Two teas, a toast of bread, and some exercise later, she looked at her house, which was in desperate need for cleaning. Cleaning had always been a form of therapy for her. It was, especially, the best way to unwind right now from the unsolicited madness she had wrapped herself in.

She started from the living room and slowly made way to the bedroom. The bookshelf seemed a little out of place, as if someone had moved it. It was 5 inches to the right, and at least 20 inches away from the wall instead of the usual 10 inches. She walked backwards for a better look at the shelf, but ended up knocking down her orchid vase placed on the reading table.

As turned to look at the mess on the floor, she fell to the ground, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her. Trembling uncontrollably, she was hit with the rush of a long lost memory.

“I just wish you had at least discussed before you decided on traveling to Andaman, where you plan on potentially killing yourself several kilometres under water,” she spoke in a hostile tone, struggling to find her house keys.

“What’s up for discussion here? I didn’t realize I needed your permission to travel somewhere and do the things I love. I don’t see you asking me before cancelling plans, just so you can stay in bed to ‘unwind’ and watch TV,” he said mockingly, while following her into the bedroom.

They had spent the entire work day fighting with each other on the phone, and yet there was no end in sight.

“When have I ever cancelled our plans to stay in bed? I go out to clubs with you, hang out with your extremely boring friends. I take road trips with you, go on treks, where I have to stay in mosquito-infested tents which barely have a toilet. And, you are going to mock me for expecting that you discuss a trip with me?” she yelled. Her face had become so red, it was threatening to spontaneously combust at any moment.

She tried to push down her anger, taking deep breaths, muttering to herself, “Everything is fine. Don’t lose control…don’t lose control! I can handle this on my own. I don’t need your help. Do you hear me? I don’t need your help.”

“Who is trying to help? What exactly are you planning to handle on your own? I am not going to cancel my plans because you are not okay with it. That’s your issue. Handle that!” he yelled back.

“See now Arjun. You really shouldn’t have said that. She is just trying to look after you, but you won’t let her,” she replied softly. Her demeanour changed; calm as a cucumber and in control of her senses, she exuded confidence completely uncharacteristic of her.

“What? Who is trying to look after me. You are being a little strange now, Ru!” he said, wondering if she had lost her mind.

“Well, ‘Ru’ isn’t here right now. But, it’s time you and I had a little talk. ‘Ru’ is a little bit of a pushover and has difficulty managing people who hurt her. She is a cry baby if you ask me and really needs to grow some balls if she is to survive in this dog-eat-dog world. And, that’s where I come in. Since she currently does not have the said balls, I have to look out for her. Because, I can’t help it but I still love her for all her faults,” she said in a matter of fact manner.

“What’s happening? What do you mean ‘Ru’ isn’t here right now? Have you certifiably lost your mind?” Arjun said with a trace of panic in his voice.

“What’s happening is that you are going to do exactly what she wants or you are not going to like what happens next. Now, my methods aren’t exactly conventional and while you may be ‘adventurous’, trust me you aren’t going to like them,” she said, sauntering around the bedroom like she owned the place.

While she was a small figure physically, Arjun was starting to get intimidated by her threateningly strong demeanour. Pretending to be unafraid, he scoffed, “Drop the act! Nobody is buying it. If you think you can bully me into doing what you want then you are only fooling yourself. Unconventional methods…ha! Who do you think you are? The Godfather?” He laughed mockingly at her.

She walked meekly towards him, and with a straight face, placed her hands on his neck. She placed a soft kiss on his lips, and said, “This could have gone so much better than the last guy. I was really starting to like you.”

Before he could respond, she kicked and pinned him to the ground; tightening her hands around his neck, she started choking him. Writhing in pain, and surprised at her body strength, he tried to free himself from her stranglehold. Looking into his brown eyes, while keeping him under her death grip, she saw the life draining out of his body, and smiled.

Ruana jerked back to the present, bawling in horror at the cracked Buddha vase lying on the floor. She got up with an urgency and pushed her bookshelf aside. As tears streamed down her face, she looked at the freshly painted wall in front of her. She took a hammer to the wall until Arjun’s lifeless body presented itself, covered in plastic tarp.

Her tears stopped and a strange relief washed over her. After 54 days, she had finally found Arjun, in her own wall. She could finally go to sleep now.