The women are alright!
It was 11 at night and I was walking along a dim-lit alley that leads up to my home. As I do usually, I was listening to music loudly enough that all my peripheral senses were shut down. Suddenly, I felt the wind shift. I instinctively pulled out my earphones and switched off my music. For 2 seconds, I had deluded myself into believing that I had nothing to worry about while walking down an alley late at night. For 2 seconds, I had forgotten that I was required to be alert, and at my attentive-best. That, I am not afforded the freedom to listen to music while I walk home because someone might sneak up on me and grab me. That, if I am groped, or sexually assaulted in that alley it would be my fault. I have to walk fast, keep my head down and hope nobody notices me.
These tiny habits have become so internalised now that we no longer see them as abberations, but the norm. Women are supposed to do these things if they want to remain safe! We are supposed to change lanes if we see a man approaching who most definitely is going to bump into us purposely, we are not supposed to wear the clothes we want, not go out when we want, not go wherever we want, not do whatever we want — because god forbid we do and are raped then it would be our fault. Because, we were warned, but it was our decision to do so anyway.
I am not the only woman who feels this way! We are all screaming all over the world until our lungs tire out. But, unfortunately there is nobody to listen. We are electing sexual assault perpetrators to office, letting them enjoy powerful positions and asking women to shut the hell up and sit down, as if we are speaking out of turn. We are secondary citizens of this world, and we should bow down to men and thank them every time we are allowed a little freedom.
And, then you ask ‘why are all the women angry?’
The toxic political climate in US and Brett Kavanaugh’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearings for the top Supreme Court job is perhaps the most upsetting and cruelest thing I have seen unfold on an international stage.
Christine Blasey Ford, who is a psychology professor, was practically bullied into testifying infront of several stone-faced Republican nincompoops about her allegations against Brett. They put her infront of a committee with privileged men, who have probably never had to worry about their physical safety. They put her infront of a group of people that cannot possibly relate to her, as she went into graphic terrifying details of the assault.
She was derided and mocked by the country’s leader after the fact. The most heartbreaking part of this entire incident is the fact that she was terrified and admitted to being so. She gave the testimony knowing that these men sitting infront of her would not believe her and would probably clear Brett for the Supreme Court seat.
Brett, on the other hand, looked like a petulant child filled with rage and contempt over the prospect of being denied his favourite toy during his testimony. Despite his conduct and character, he was eventually elected as a Supreme Court Justice for a lifetime. And the icing on the cake is he now gets to make laws that tell women what they should and should not do with their bodies.
While this episode was unfolding miles away from where I am and has no direct impact on me, I found myself struggling with profound emotions. Because it all seemed too familiar, like something we have seen before. It is symptomatic of a deeply entrenched patriarchy that does not allow women to have a voice. They’d rather have us shut up and do their bidding.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking for one second that this development is not relevant to you. Because when the oldest democracy in the world does something, it serves as an example for the rest of the world. For the Indian far-right that supports Trump and his damaging so-called ‘Make America Great Again’ policies, this will especially serve as a precedence in the future to follow suit.
What is happening in the US is especially shocking when you see it in the context of the currently burgeoning #MeToo movement back home. It took more than a year, but the movement has reached the Indian shores and exploded on the walls of perpetrators who are now running helter and skelter.
The weak half apology by several and the pathetic disassociation with the perpetrator seems like an old trope now, something that I (along with many other women) am quite tired of watching. It’s almost as if they were taking notes on what the right kind of PR behaviour is, when Hollywood was grappling with the aftermath of #MeToo.
There is no denying that we are living in precarious times. The truth is shifting everyday and the skeletons are flying out of the closet. While I would submit to the fact that not all men who are accused of sexual misconduct are necessarily guilty, it would be great if every man in his entourage did not run to his rescue. It would be comforting to see for once the woman getting the benefit of the doubt. It is not black and white; it is especially easier said than done when the person in question is not someone you know personally. It is definitely not the easiest thing to do, but it certainly is the decent one.
How we deal with these increasing number of stories and accusations is yet to be seen. So far, two comedians have been ousted (temporarily) from their position as co-founders of the comedy collective AIB, while Vikas Bahl has been abandoned by all his former partners at Phantom Films. Although the AIB episode gives only a minor glimpse of someone finally showing some accountability, it comes as a breath of fresh air. I am optimistic about how this narrative will play out in India, but only partly.
India hasn’t had a great track record with treating women — be it publicly or privately in our homes. The fact that communities have had to protest just to get FIRs filed against the accused is a reflection in itself of how much importance we attach to crime against women.
These recent stories and the rising incidences of rape are extremely concerning. While the #MeToo movement has reached the urban areas, women living in the conservative India are still dealing with these excesses and unable to talk about it.
So, this movement cannot be shortlived. We must continue to support those telling their stories until the movement reaches the conservative India. We can no longer show distrust towards women who are telling their stories despite massive self-doubt and are reliving the most scarring experience of their life. Because the moment you try to shut them up, there are several others who will stop themselves from coming forward.
State institutions and political parties have a unique opportunity to gain back the trust of a wide (female) majority who also votes. If that is not your intention, then shut the hell up because we and our stories are not yours to gain political mileage. If you are one of those illiterate and dogmatic enough to believe that men rule the world, think again. Because women are angry and they are coming for your guns!
